How to Stay Positive Without Faking It

Someone recently told me that I’m very talented at putting on a smile, even through the toughest of situations.

This was said to be complimentary, of course, but it has been on my mind a lot lately.  This is how people have always thought of me. Animated and apologetically optimistic. My glass is always half full of lemonade I freshly squeezed from the bag of lemons handed to me by life itself. Its something about me that people tend to idolize, and I’m always happy to be that ray of light for someone.

Though my world isn’t always rainbows and butterflies, they are right. I do try to live a life of positivity. I happen to believe in silver linings, and rainbows after rain and all sorts of other cliches that you’ve seen on memes and posters. I’ve been through things that I never thought I could live through. Yet here I am, out here on the other side living, so who am I to complain?

That’s what so many would have us believe. That we have so much to be grateful for and we have no right to complain. In reality, everyone feels the frustrations and the sadness that life throws their way sometimes and it is okay to take time to feel those feelings. We are reminded constantly that things will get better and to stay positive. And its true. Things can only get better and we should stay positive. But that doesn’t mean you can’t feel what you need to feel in the moment.

I’ve learned that its more about having a healthy balance. Pretending like nothing is wrong for the benefit of everyone else is no more healthy than wallowing in your feelings for weeks on end. So many people have asked me how I’ve managed to stay so positive, and while I don’t think I can necessarily quantify it, here are 5 things that have always been my truths:

  1. If I have a feeling, I take my time and feel it Contrary to what most tend to think, if something upsets me, I take the time I need to sort through and process it. I’m not a confrontational sort of being, so I might not approach it in the same way as others, but trust it is absolutely approached.
  2. I take lots of time out for just me Chalk this up to my introverted side, but I love my “me” time. Its so refreshing for me to have time alone to clear my thoughts and re-align my focus.
  3. I avoid drama No, really. I do. I don’t pick unnecessary fights or allow myself to be pulled into anyone else’s.
  4. I unplug often My life isn’t driven by social media and wifi. I disconnect from all sorts of ridiculous internet nonsense regularly and read a book, or sketch, or write or whatever else feels right for my soul at the moment.
  5. My squad are cool people I surround myself with positive, like-minded people You’re only as good as the company you keep, right?

Thing’s suck sometimes. That’s just the truth. You can be happy with your life and still feel the struggles. Its okay to cry when you need to. Yell when it feels right. Take I guess what I’m saying is, don’t forget the bad parts make up your story as well.

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